RESOURCES FOR ABUSED WOMEN AND THEIR CHILDREN

 

The books, videos, websites, and organizations listed on these pages offer support, guidance, and inspiration to abused women. There is also wonderful information in these resources for friends and family wishing to assist a woman who is being mistreated in a relationship, and for community activists seeking to confront the wider social problem of abuse and violence. Although most of these resources refer to “domestic violence” or “battering,” they are almost all equally relevant to women who have experienced verbal, economic, or sexual coercion.

 


 

HOTLINES, WEBSITES, AND BOOKS ON ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

 

National Domestic Violence Hotline for the United States and Canada: 1 (800) 799-SAFE

Call this number to receive a referral to the closest hotline for abused women in your area. The use of this number is not restricted to women who have experienced physical violence: Women and teens are welcome to call with any issue regarding verbal abuse or control in a relationship, or just because something is happening in their relationship that is making them uncomfortable.

 

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network Hotline (RAINN): 1 (800) 656-4673, or online hotline at online.rainn.org

Call this number if you have been sexually assaulted or sexually abused by your partner or ex-partner (or by anyone else), and you will be connected immediately to the sexual assault hotline closest to you. Use the online hotline for confidential chat with a trained support specialist 24/7.

 


 

HELP GUIDE

 

Visit this website for an unusually extensive and helpful set of guidelines, resources, and checklists, and other helpful information for women involved with abusive or controlling men. This website is a great place to start if you are looking to learn more about ways of dealing with your situation.

 

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
by Lundy Bancroft (Berkley Books)

The book that answers the 20 questions that women most commonly ask about controlling or abusive relationship partners, including why he treats other people so much better than he treats you, how he came to be the way he is, why his good periods don’t last, and how to tell if he is really going to change or not.

 

Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life
by Ginny NiCarthy (Seal Press)

This is a supportive, clear, and extremely practical book on how to understand if your partner is abusive, and what steps to take to get your life back under your own control. Everything is here, from how to stop blaming yourself to how to choose a good counselor or lawyer. I give this book my highest recommendation.

 

When Love Goes Wrong: What To Do When You Can’t Do Anything Right
by Ann Jones and Susan Schechter (Harper Perennial)

This is a powerful book for women who are seeking guidance on how to cope with a controlling partner and how to move towards freedom and recovery. It is practical, down to earth, and accurate, and covers in detail a wide range of issues that women face. A wonderful resource.

 

It’s My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence
by Meg Kennedy Dugan and Roger Hock (Routledge)

Despite the title, this book is equally valuable for women who are still involved with an angry or controlling partner and for those who have left. This is a wonderful, warm, compassionate book by authors that deeply understand both emotional and physical abuse.

 

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How To Recognize It and How To Respond
by Patricia Evans (Bob Adams)

Evans’ book takes the reader through the details of verbally abusive tactics in relationships, and how to understand their effects on you. She offers terrific insight and practical advice. (The book contains a couple of the common misconceptions about the psychology of abusers, but this is a very minor drawback compared to its many strengths.)

 

Into the Light: A Guide for Battered Women
by Leslie Cantrelli (Chas. Franklin Press)

This booklet is short and simple, with accurate information and good advice. This is a great resource for a woman who does not have the time or energy for the longer books listed above, or who wants to have quick inspiration handy.

 

Not to People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages
by Susan Weitzman (Basic Books)

A valuable expose of abuse among the wealthy, with important guidance for abused women. Weitzman’s descriptions of abusive men are accurate and helpful (though a couple of the myths slip in). I recommend this book highly.

 


 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCE PAGES ON A WIDE VARIETY OF SUBJECTS

Click on any of the links below:

 

For Women of Color

For Lesbians

For Immigrant and Refugee Women

For Teenagers And Their Parents

For Children of Abused Women

For Women in Faith Communities

Child Custody, Divorce, and Child Support

For Those Assisting Abused Women

For Mothers of Sexually Abused Children

Recovering from Intimate Partner Sexual Assault

General Parenting Issues

For Women Abused by Law Enforcement Officers or Who are Law Enforcement Officers Themselves

About Abusive Men

About Overcoming Partner Abuse in Communities

For Male Allies