When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
by Lundy Bancroft (Berkley Books)
This is a parenting guide for women who are with, or have left, an abusive partner. It explains how to recognize the emotional wounds your children may be carrying from being exposed to the abuser’s behavior, and how you can best help them to recover. It offers concrete guidelines on how to keep a strong relationship with your kids to make it harder for the abuser to turn them against you. This is a supportive and practical book that recognizes the deep challenges you face as your children’s mother, given their father’s toxicity.
Childhood Experiences of Domestic Violence
by Caroline McGee (Jessica Kingsley) 2000. 254pp. ISBN-10: 1853028274 or ISBN-13: 978-1853028274
Although this is a professional book, it is very readable and compassionate. McGee understands the challenges an abused mother faces. Told largely in the words of mothers and children themselves, this is the single best introduction I have found to the experiences of children exposed to an abusive man, with extensive guidance for how to effectively assist them to safety and recovery.
The Batterer As Parent: Addressing The Impact of Domestic Violence On Family Dynamics, 2nd Ed.
by Lundy Bancroft, Jay Silverman and Daniel Richie (Sage Series on Violence Against Women) Second Edition 2011 352pp. ISBN-13: 9781412972055 or ISB-10:1412972051
Although this professional book focuses on physically abusive men, the great majority of what we cover applies to verbally abusive and controlling men as well. We explain how an abusive man can affect the relationships between a mother and her children and between siblings, and how abusers may try to continue their control through the children post-separation. Abused mothers, including those involved in the family court system, report finding this book both validating and helpful. (However, it’s also very expensive. Unless you need work in the court sytem, do research and writing, or are in the midst of an active legal case yourself, you might prefer to get When Dad Hurts Mom, which explains the same key concepts but is much less expensive and is full of parenting suggestions for mothers which are not present in The Batterer as Parent.
Review: The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics (core.ac.uk)
Talking About Domestic Abuse: A Photo Activity Book to Develop Communication Between Mothers and Young People
by Cathy Humphreys, Ravi Thiara, Agnes Skamballis, Audrey Mullender, and June Freeman (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) 2006. 112pp. ISBN13: 9781843104230 or ISBN-10: 1843104237
This book is for children roughly nine years older and up. It contains activities for mothers and children to do together to help process the experience of a man’s violence in the home. This workbook helps promote bonding between mothers and children and facilitates healing.
Talking to My Mum: A Picture Workbook for Workers, Mothers and Children Affected by Domestic Abuse
by Cathy Humphreys, Ravi Thiara, Agnes Skamballis, and Audrey Mullender (Jessic Kingsley Publishers) London, UK and Philadelphia, USA, 2006. 59pp. ISBN: 9781843104223
Similar to the “Talking About Domestic Abuse” book, but this one is directed at younger children, particularly in the five-to-eight year old range. Many of the activities are appropriate for children even younger than five.(PDF) Talking to my mum: a picture workbook for workers, mothers and children affected by domestic abuse by Cathy Humphreys, Ravi K. Thiara, Agnes Skamballis and Audrey Mullender, Jessica Kingsley, London, UK and Philadelphia, USA, 2006. 59pp. ISBN: 9781843104223 Â£17.99 and talking about domestic abuse… | Agnes Skamballis – Academia.edu